Starting with the disclaimer...there is no judgement if your family has television, an ipad, or plastic toys.
This is how we do things because of the rhythm and dynamics of our family.
Each parenting style is different, but there's been a lot of questions regarding this topic, so I would love to share our journey of how we got here. Simple as that.
A lot of how we raised our kids is similar to how we were raised... and since Jason and I had a similar upbringing regarding video games and television(meaning none, or that one time we had Super Mario Brothers for a few months), it's been quite easy to agree on this subject. Plus, our children have made it quite clear regarding the boundaries that needed to be placed.
We don't currently have a television. My Mac is used for Hulu at night (I love watching a few shows!), and on occasion, when the children have had a very physical day of exploring and using their muscles, we will put on a western or Little House on the Prairie. The once in a blue moon family movie night happens as well...all of this is done on my Mac.
This works for us. Our kids know no different and they know very well how to play independently.
I can still clean the house. I can still do work, they don't need a tv or an ipad to keep them busy.
I can still clean the house. I can still do work, they don't need a tv or an ipad to keep them busy.
It's because they don't know any different.
I'll be honest, though, there are times when those devices would be very functional.
From dinner until bedtime, our home is typically busy and noisy.
Lots of games and wrestling.
Having the ability to quickly turn on something to quiet them down would surely be nice, but they are also used "book time", "room time", and board games, so if needed, we pull the card and it's quiet. :)
We got a Nabi a year or so back... it's kind of like a kids tablet. It lasted about two months. They only had 20 minutes a day of screen time. It became their world! They would talk about it all day, fight about it (because their time would be up and they couldn't finish the game), full-on meltdown when screen time was taken away. We tried to supplement the "unfairness" with use of our phones and it majorly failed! It was a disaster. I hated it. So did Jason, so it got taken away for good, the phones do not get used and the house has been a better place.
That two months taught us who we were as a family, and the Nabi didn't fit in it!
I realize our children are young and social situations will happen later (when other kids have ipods and phones, etc.)... we will cross that bridge when we get there. We by no means want our convictions to be so strong that we overlook a social standard and our child is made fun of... but at the same, neither of us really care for the social standard either.
There are all types of educational programs and games out there, but to be honest, open, natural toys have been the best teaching sources for my children. With Carter, he had all of those Leap Frog toys, battery operated learning devices... I found that it created a noisy learning atmosphere, and he didn't have to manipulate anything in order to learn to count, he just had to press a button.
Counting can be learned through blocks, rocks, sticks.
Animals can be learned by holding them and playing with them or actually going to see and pet them!
In my research, years back, regarding Autism and sensory disorders, I learned of the great impact that playing with natural toys have on children.
Our bodies create a ton of energy, we're a walking science lab.
The energy needs to be absorbed.
Natural sources absorb energy (wood, wool, cotton, rubber, etc).
Synthetic materials do not (plastic, polyester, etc).
Once I learned that, my eyes opened to the world of toys and how twisted they have become.
Not only do they repel energy, they make it themselves, with loud noises, blinking lights, etc... its too much for our senses to take in!
And when they're removed, a quiet home surfaces.
When there are five energetic children running around, a quiet home is a desired commodity.
It's certainly a process.
You have to inform family members of your "toy philosophy". That can certainly take the joy out of giving for them. But once they know why, it makes complete sense.
Natural toys also bring a warm and inviting aesthetic to your home.
Even though we don't have a ton, when they are out, they're not an eye sore.
For some, that's not an issue, but for me, it is, and if I'm happy and relaxed, then everyone else is too.
Lately, Scarlett has been really into setting up her two stuffed dogs, horse, and babies all around her room. She would visit Jason's shop and bring back plastic tubs to put them in as doggy beds... it was driving me crazy, but I watched her for a good week... what she did, the rhythm of her play. Once I realized that this was a long-term form of play for her, I scavenged baskets from thrift stores to replace those plastic bins. I say this because natural toys can be very costly, but there are ways to go around that.
We usually use birthdays and Christmas as an opportunity to add a nicer gift to our collection.
The gift part... aye. It's so hard as a parent. Gift-giving can be so fun and it's easy to get carried away. Especially when you have your kids' desires and hobbies nailed down, you want to get everything. But you also have to consider how much they currently have, what will actually be used, what will benefit the family, etc.
But the last few years, spending time doing the research and looking for the perfect solution, we've created a really calm and educational home. And nothing's gone to waste.
Some sources for shopping:
Etsy (an example of one of my favorite stores here)
Willow Toys (For play kitchens, doll houses, etc)
Magic Cabin (really great site for original, natural toys)
Hearth Song (For older kids, it's actually the sister store of Magic Cabin)
*pictured are Connectagons, from Hearth Song.
The kids end up getting less toys, which I prefer (usually one gift from us and one gift from each side of grandparents, so three gifts each child), but they are of high quality and will last years and years.
A lot of them get played with through all of the age ranges (Carter still builds with blocks as do the babies, all three older kids build with Connectagons... the animals are used in water play, at the lakes, outside in tiny "towns" the kids create, etc.). It makes for a simple and appealing household.
Again, I share this because this is what works for us, and I feel it's taken me about 4 years to get here.
I hope it's a source of help for you this coming Christmas!
Do let me know if you have any other suggestions... I'm stumped for Carter this year, so any suggestions for a seven-year-old math and science lover would be helpful!