I am really really enjoying right now.

Jason and I have allowed ourselves to really take pride in our kids.

It's hard to do.

When you're so focused on rearing, guiding, forming, loving, directing, and feeding (!) them, you find yourself so "in" the acts that you don't get to take a chance to "see" who they are, what they've become. The fruit of labor.

So we've done that lately.
Stopped to watch.

We had the chance to go to a restaurant with our entire family (soccer coaching has it's perks!). It doesn't happen often, but whenever we do, we walk in so proud of our troop. They actually sit still, use their manners, speak to the waitress. It's an honor to be their mother.
I don't say this to brag.
I say this to document.
I want to remember this. The pride. The admiration.

Everett, my tender one. He's so sensitive to feelings and so kind and caring. I had a head cold last week. Every morning, he was the first to ask me how I was feeling and what he could do. He is patient and kind. Sweet to his sister. She fell down right before I snapped this shot, and I waited to see what he would do. He ran over, picked her up, brushed her off, hugged her and asked if she was okay.
And then my heart melted. :-)

Carter. The beginning of my strength. I've mentioned "gifts" and a book to order ( a few posts below). You see, he's been the hardest for me to understand. No doubt, he's incredible, but something within me was never able to see him... until this book! What hope! I took the test to see what his giftings were... while he was part of what I assumed he would be, his second strongest gift happens to be the same as my second strongest gift. And his very weakest gift was equally matched to my very weakest gift. How ironic. Or not.
Since then, I've been able to identify things, understand him. Take pride in him, direct him, all with the purpose of letting him thrive in who he is...not who he should be.
It's been such a release!
I've released the guilt of having to "get" him and have been spending that time doing the things we love to do together (plan, sketch maps, play soccer, organize).
It's set a new tone for us and I can finally speak his language (partially, at least, I'm not a genius).

The gift of siblings. Not a day goes by that I wish for less children. The way they are with each other, it's just beautiful. I am sure this stage will change, and hormones will surge, doors will slam, but for now, they are so harmonious and respectful of each other. Rarely do they fight or argue.
It's everything I dreamed of! So grateful.

Now I write these positive descriptions of "now", because I am realistic that it may not always be that way... but I must remember. It's that special.

And a reason I didn't mention the twins is because they are not my strength at the moment! Ha! While they are just a wonder to watch and a joy to spend time with, I am physically so involved with them. This stage is serious business. So much training. Manners, boundaries, tones, happy hearts, you name it, we're working on it. It's exhausting, times two. They're difficult in the stroller, difficult in public (unless they have food, which is why a restaurant works!!), busy at home... climbing, opening things, breaking things... the best place to take them is outdoors. They do well on our adventures, thank goodness, because the Lord knows I need a break!

I am so anxious to see who they become.
As of lately, their personalities are finally showing some consistency. Elias sings, jokes, is very laid back and tends to whine when bored or needy. August is feisty, aggressive (he hits), very talkative, social, and when he chooses to be still, very loving and affectionate. They still draw a lot of attention when out, but I have come to appreciate it and expect it...so it's not annoying anymore...it just proves how miraculous they are!

Our journey has come to an end.

Praise God!

And of course, that's said lightly as every trial and situation in life has a duration, just to recover, find rest, and begin a new one.

But now, we rest.

We rest in the mundane.

A man leaving for work, a woman managing her home, children excited to see their father when he comes home from work.

Yes, work!

It's been ten months.
You guys, God is astounding. He cares. He provides.

On a journey that was directed by him, he was right all along.

He would provide.

And he did in the most mysterious ways.
I wish I could list them for you.

The list is too long and some of the ways he delivered are simply unbelievable.

Knock-you-on-your-knees-in-awe-of-God-unbelievable.

But so fitting, and loving, and caring, and just.

Humbled.

We're a pile of meek and broken people over here, due to him and what he has requested from us.

But that journey in the wilderness, we've come to an end.

All along, in the middle, there was this battle of self. It was so ugly.
I failed so many times. Battle after battle after battle. But God was there all along, picking me up, even when so weak... encouraging. He chose a leader to guide me through... in the right way, you see, because I am a poor follower. It takes a really incredible person (Jason) to be able to lead a woman like me. He should have several medals. ;-)

All the while, my work was able to carry us through. Jason had some physical-labor type jobs here and there, but for most of the time, we fed a family of seven, paid our mortgage and were able to stay out of debt! We told the Lord from the beginning that we knew that debt was not a part of this, and were trusting that he wouldn't require us to go there...and lo and behold, he didn't. Of course he didn't!

We were really able to focus on what type of family we are. What are goals are as a family, what we want our children to remember... I've documented a lot of our adventures here and on Instagram, but truly, these have become a huge part of my heart.

Creation, nature, exploring...watching my children charge through the unknown of a new place, without abandon. It's been so spiritual.

I don't think that this intense need for adventure would have happened had we not had the time to do so. Now it's a simple priority. It's a part of us.

The children have learned a lot about faith and provision. It's evident in their prayers and conversation. We are very communicative with them about our experience, down to the name of the person that may have blessed us with this meal or with the ability to play soccer, etc... they know how his kingdom is supposed to work at such a young age. Lucky them. I pray it helps them in their ability to give freely.

Because that's what the middle has been about.

And now the beginning. The beginning of what has been promised. It's not mind-blowing or life changing, it's not extravagant or over-the-top. But it's us. It's our hearts.
It requires discipline to survive and wisdom to manage a home with this many mouths.
But it's consistent and will keep us fed and clothed.
It's local and it's a perfect fit for Jason.

I'm smack in the middle of my busy season. I'm excited to get through it, simply so I can have a space here again to release my thoughts and capture my children. But I have never been so grateful for a source of income!

Thank you to everyone who has played any size of role in our journey of faith. From encouragement to financial blessings, you are all a part of this big picture. Our prayer with anyone is that whoever gave will receive abundantly more than what they sacrificed! I believe that will be the case, because that's just how he works. Trust me, I've learned. :-)