I've mentioned that our decision to send Kid to school was merely last minute. In my heart, for months, I had been feeling that it was my duty as a mother to stay home and continue to teach him as I so naturally have the past five years. I romanticized the idea of having him at home and nurturing my children the way "it should be". Through the process of letting go of that plan, I have acquired the utmost respect for those who fulfill their calling as a mother and teacher--it is surely a remarkable task and has plenty of rewards that I am sure to miss out on.
Once God made it relevant that we were to send Kid to his school, a huge sense of relief filled me full. I had been preparing myself to teach him and prepping my heart, mind, and skills so that I would be capable of doing such a task. But letting him go has been an unexpected blessing in our lives.
I expected him to be overwhelmed, exhausted (Kid's school is full days, 5 X/week), emotional, and irritable when he came home each day. He arrives in our car the exact opposite. I have never seen him so fulfilled. He is bursting with energy and joy. I thought it was the "first week high", but no, it continues. Needs have been met that he's been thirsting for the past year or so. His sense of independence is remarkable and he has proven to be able to handle school and be a better brother and son when he comes home. What a comfort that has been!
I expected Ev to completely lose it without his brother. They haven't been separated since birth. They have been the best of friends and siblings and usually play so well together.
I expected to be anxious over "entertaining" the two littles while brother was away. I have been so used to them playing on their own that I really feared how that would change the dynamic.
The result has been much different. The two little ones adore each other, and their condensed time together is nothing but sweet and peaceful. I thought Ev was my wild child, but when it's him and Lulu, they read, play dolls, play kitchen, build blocks, and even snuggle together. I sometimes stare in amazement at them and how different our family dynamic is during the day.
I thought that the drop off/pick up shuffle would cause a lot of chaos in our life. The last thing I wanted to be was a "soccer mom" taking her kids here and there. But we have settled into a lovely routine. We drop Kid off, walk with the wonderful group of mom friends that also drop their kids off, sometimes grab coffee, and then head home for some play time and nap time (for all three of us!). By the time naps are over, it's time to pick up Kid.
Everyone is happy to see each other and they play well until dinner is ready. It's been a routine I would have missed out on that I thoroughly enjoy and am grateful for.
It's been an unexpected month. I am so grateful for where we are right now. The preparation for August and Elias is getting more and more exciting. Kid remarks each time I pick him up how much I have grown. Yes, it happens that quickly!
I have a feeling this is the calm before the storm! We'll have two infants to add to our sweet and special routine. Right now, I'm going to enjoy every moment with these two and pour my love into them. They're currently my littles, but will soon be my middles, and I want to be sure that they feel secure and loved!
I'm so glad they have each other.