Today, I received the following email from one of my parents' good friends:
"Last night in prayer I remembered a conversation I had with your Dad that I likely never told you about.
It was a profound two hour phone call about 6 months before he passed away and was filled with the long term perspective of someone in his situation. Suddenly he asked me the question....soooo do you think it is about our children or our children's children? Without hesitation in a prophetic high we confidently agreed it was about the children's children. Though at that point neither of us had grandchildren.
Just thought I would drop you a note letting you know how strongly significant your dad felt your children were."
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It couldn't have come at a better time. I am not one to wish that the present would be different, I am realistic that my children will never know their Papa Steve. Even though it hurts worse than any physical pain to know how much love, wisdom, fun, and affection they would have gained from him, it makes no difference. He's not here. I know that.
It still doesn't change my sadness over seeing a photo like the one below and wishing that the little girl on his lap was Scarlett and not my cousin twenty-two years ago. And that little girl in the cowboy hat was an adult Jodi, sitting by her Dad as he held her precious daughter.
But reading the sweet words that a distant friend felt obligated to share brings it all into perspective. I've known that he has had something to do with these children, ever since the day Carter was born.
I don't think he sits in heaven guiding them or speaking to them, no...that's through the work of God, but his prayers and his work into raising us children are what affects these children. His blood runs through their veins. I will claim pieces of him in their foundation of their character because he raised me and with my mother helped bring up me to be the woman, wife, and mother that these children will model their behavior after.
These children have no clue as to how blessed they are to have him as a building block to their history as well as their DNA. I love that they all possess something different in him that combined allows me to live with him on a daily basis.
Carter, know that you inherited your Papa Steve's work ethic. You also possess his passion and integrity, his drive, and his willingness and eagerness to learn in every situation. I watch you work outside and I see the same dedication from your Papa Steve. He worked until the job was done, regardless of how tired, dirty, or hungry he may have been. Embrace that, it will get you far!
Everett. I just say your name and I see my dad's eyes sparkle in delight. Your mischief, sense of humor, adventurous spirit, love for animals, easy-going personality, and love for life are all a part of your Papa Steve. People are naturally attracted to you, which is something that everyone can agree on was a gift your Papa had. You are affectionate and strong. So manly, yet able to comb your Sissy's hair and sing to her babies with her. Your Papa had that versatility as well. You will always be loved my a multitude of people, and that will be a constant reminder to me of your Papa Steve!
Sissy, it's hard to know your true character thus far, but out of all my children, I mourn for him most when I think of you. You would have melted his heart. He would have taken hold of you and never let you go. You are so much like how your momma was, I think it would have given him such joy to be able to do it again.
And for August and Elias, this email came at such a time, that it instantly confirmed the emotions that I have gone through since I have discovered the existence of both of you. I just couldn't let go of the awareness of his hand in this somehow. Again, my dad did not orchestrate your being, but his prayers were certainly significant and I would imagine as he is able to watch God work in our lives and as he hands the two of you over to us, it gives your Papa Steve great joy. You two and your arrival are more than any man can plan or control. You are God-given and your heritage is one of great strength in prayer. And because of that, God knew to send you.
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Naturally, after reading the email and processing the emotions of missing him, and of knowing his great passion for his unborn grandchildren had passed, I really thought about the profoundness of his conversation.
It's true, in the long-term perspective, it is not just about our children. The majority of their lives will be spent with their spouses and their children. We have such a small portion of their life to raise them up to be the men, women, fathers and mothers that they are called to be... it's for their children. And that is why when you lift your children up in prayer, you are to pray for their spouses and their children. The benefits begin now, and looking at my family, I am more than confident that through the prayers of both sides of Jason's family and my family, through the heritage, and through the love of Christ, we are blessed. And our children will rise up and be blessed, and their children will rise up and call them blessed. And the cycle will continue, creating a better world, with responsible and loving people, and then Christ will look down and be happy over the work we have done.