I'm dragging my feet, currently at my desk... supposed to be finishing a photo session.
Deep thoughts, racing through my brain.
So I procrastinate, find joy by looking through a little game of hide-and-seek the babies were playing the other day (that I actually captured with my real camera since my phone was broken!).
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The Lord, he's doing a work in me (always).
A work in us.
This faithfulness, waiting, patience thing...it's not my forte.
Nor is gentleness or selflessness.
At the end of our time, the end of our "reserves", his plan has been even less clear than this entire journey.
I'm confused.
I'm confused.
Peace-filled, but confused.
I knew in order for there to be growth, we would need to reach this point, of desperation.
We aren't starving. But we've never been this vulnerable.
The true plan is hidden from our eyes.
We're done with guessing. We sit with our arms stretched out, waiting.
Father?
One thing he has made clear. Plan, strive, prepare. Grow, learn, soften.
We hear you loud and clear, we feel you, we are listening.
It's been a struggle and will continue to be. But I hear him so gently remind me in the moments of quiet (which are rare).
I do this because I love you.
I do this because you are destined. I do this because you are willing.
I do this because you will do great things for me.
I do this because you are you.
I do this because you are faithful.
Then he tells us in the stillness of the morning:
"Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago."
Isaiah 25:1
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God, the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock."
Isaiah 26:3-4
"The eyes of The Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
2 Chronicles 16:9
So we seek. We wait. We believe.
We strive for joy in the process.
Does it hurt at times? Absolutely.
But the trust that he has put in us, with our family, with these five amazing children.
That trust alone proves to us that we are capable. And the plan is far bigger than we ever could imagine.
We strive for joy in the process.
Does it hurt at times? Absolutely.
But the trust that he has put in us, with our family, with these five amazing children.
That trust alone proves to us that we are capable. And the plan is far bigger than we ever could imagine.