Gifts

I had other words to these images.
And as I finished it up two days ago, the Lord said no.
He said he would give me words and I was just to wait upon him.

This doesn't happen often.  We chat, yes.  He leads me, I feel him, we're growing.
But this new directing and guiding moment by moment.  That's a result of surrender (if this makes no sense, then continue reading previous posts, and perhaps it will!).
I wanted to share that as hope, or maybe inspiration... it comes. It may take conditioning and discipline, but his voice, it becomes more and more clear as you let it.

So for the past few days, I waited.
Yesterday, as I listened to my pastor speak a very theological/Old-Testament based sermon (which I typically have a difficult time following, I prefer the more feely stuff, you know), God told me to listen, and to pass on these words to the mothers that will read them.

This is not just for you.  This is for us too.
We (meaning Jason and I) have been encouraging one another to use specific words of edification with our children.  They are at an age when they are so very open.  Nothing comes between their experience of Christ at this moment.  They are in the stage of what Christ called "Child like"... simply because they believe and receive without hesitation.
Right now is when their hearts are open because nothing has altered their view of their Heavenly Father.
So it's now that we teach them who they are, individually in Christ.

This is something you most likely are already doing, but being intentional in the way you do it may give them future confidence in their role here on Earth. As children and as adults. As spouses and as parents. As coworkers and as friends.

Our children need to understand their identity in Christ.  My pastor mentioned this, and discussed how "self esteem" is a 35 yr-old concept. It's quite fascinating. I remember reading parenting books on building your child's self esteem.  And while they all have an element of truth in them... the reliance of needing fulfillment quickly becomes a disease in a sense.  Always needing recognition, always needing approval, always needing attention.  Technology doesn't do much to help that with all of the responses that social media requires... and then, you have a child-turned adult that needs recognition and response in order to stay happy.  And when things are quiet and when he or she is alone, there is no awareness of self, or stillness, or peace.  Just loneliness and sadness.
This is not what we want for our children.

What we want for our children is for them to know who they are in Christ.
And we can help.
Before we were ever born, we were created by Him.  He knew us before we were in the womb.  He created each person unique.  With their own set of gifts.

Teaching our kids to identify their own God-given gifts and to recognize gifts of others,,, this gives them more than self-esteem. It gives them full understanding of who they are.  How Christ sees them. How Christ made them.

Our job as parents is to first and foremost understand our own identity in Christ.
Hopefully you will have a spouse that will help in that and edify you in your strengths and giftings.
If not, spend time with Him. Asses your desires. If you allow time to be still, he will affirm you, and if you're unable to hear his voice, the peace that comes with certain things that you do, well, that peace (which is the Holy Spirit) will bring a consistency in your heart that very well may be a gift.  He will lead you.  Listen. If you listen, if you ask, he will show you. And when he shows you, and when you obey, everything will be clear and your heart, content.
But it's a process.  And it's trust.
But it's there.
And you find yourself loved and cherished.
And nothing in the world can separate you from that.

Even still, the deepness of that, it needs to be taught at an early age... because if our children are not open to it, well, the journey will be longer for them.

My parents were an amazing example of that and I'm forever grateful as it's been a smooth transition to speak life into my own children.

I want to give a few examples of how they encouraged our giftings and spoke life into us. Perhaps you can relate.

My middle brother, Jake. He was never the academic type.  He struggled in school and had little desire for it.  He was always expected to try hardest, but that didn't mean that he got straight A's.  But Jakey was extremely kinesthetic. Meaning, he was really good at working with his hands.  I remember him clumsily breaking things... often. But after they broke, he would take his hands and turn them into something else!  I remember one time someone gave him an old broken television and somehow he used the parts to build a go-cart.  My parents noticed this.  Rather than pushing him in school, they taught him who he was. "Jakey, you sure do have the gift of fixing things!".  "Jakey, your hands are really gifted!"... affirmation.  Edification, recognition of God-given gifts.

When high school came to an end, and his peers were heading to college, he knew who he was.
He knew he wasn't meant to go to college.  He was to work with his hands.
My dad set up days out with several men in different trades.  Jake spent plenty of Saturdays with those men, climbing power poles, fixing diesel trucks,  digging ditches.  He decided he loved electrical work the most.
Jake is now a power lineman. He started when he was 18. He makes more money than most people and loves his job. Every. Single. Day.  He also has a garage full of handy inventions. ;-)

This is the fruit of a set of parents who knew their child's giftings.
Who affirmed him, spoke into him, and taught him that God created him that way. And the way God created him was perfect.  And that going to college was not perfect for him.  

Noticing gifts in your children may be difficult at first, but watch for repetition, watch for desire.  Just as you understand yourself, understand your children.

Carter: Gift of organization, gift of encouragement, gift of mathematics and academics.
Everett: Gift of creativity, gift of music and worship, gift of encouragement and touch.
Scarlett, while she's still a bit young to recognize them, she has the gift of nurturing babies and animals, she also has the gift of Joy.

Some fruit: One day, when I had noticed Carter had put away all of his clothes AND Everett's without me asking, I said, "Carter, thank you for putting away those clothes, why did you do it?".  He answered, "Because I have the gift of organization".

We tell them this.
When we see them do something repetitively, we are sure to use careful words in making sure that this is how God made them!
"Everett, you sure do love to sing songs to God, you have the gift of Worship!"
"Carter, I appreciate how you cheered for your team on the sideline, you sure have the gift of Encouragement".
Some gifts will strengthen, some will fade. It's just our job to help recognize them, cultivate them, encourage them.  The stronger they know who they are in Christ, how He sees them, the more confident they will be as people.

My parents continually affirmed my gift of joy.  "Joyful Jodi".  "You sure have a joyful heart!".  Over and over. I can hear it now!

But you know what?  I see life no other way.  Because what they saw, they encouraged.
And what they encouraged, it stuck deep down in the core of my being, and I will always know that who I am and what I do has an element of Joy. And for that I can be joyful!!

1 Corinthians 12:4-6
“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.”

 So we're in it together.
Whether or not you have Christ in your heart.  Know he created you.
Know he loves you equally as any other person.
 He made you unique. He gave you your gifts. And you should use them (or perhaps you are, and that makes him so happy!)
You can recognize them in your own child.
And nothing should stop you from telling them that God gave them those gifts.
Because he did!  And he did it for a purpose.
(who actually gives a gift without intent anyway?)
And how amazing will it be to observe that purpose as a parent?