I'm not sure why, but this little Gus Muffin has been the only one to jump in front of the camera the past few weeks. Which is fitting.

I've bonded with him on new levels lately.

It's so weird to say that, and it doesn't mean he's favored or wasn't favored...but it certainly helps me understand our relationship with the Lord...how intimacy can come and go in deeper and weaker stages...all while being loved unconditionally.

Sometimes when I feel so connected with one child and so disconnected with the other, it catches me off guard and I struggle with insecurity...maybe that I'm playing favorites or that one child picks up on it, etc. No. That's not the case.

If we look at Christ and we look at our own relationship with him, it all makes sense.

So again, I learn through my children, and I learn more about Christ.

Gus is a thinker. He's a lover. He's so smart! He knows all of his colors, many shapes. He knows the alphabet and can count to fifteen. He reminds me so much of Carter at this age as he will build elaborate castles with blocks and will sit for long periods of time concentrating on a task.
He also can be very particular, but we are seeing how a large family and birth order manage that quite naturally on it's own. (Thank goodness!)

If he's feeling lovey, he will embrace you with the greatest of hugs and stay there for fifteen minutes, taking it all in.
He's got a tiny dimple, more distinct from Elias (and mirrored, of course) and it always shows when he's being cheeky.

I get these little glimpses of that day. When he lays with his fingers in his mouth and his cheek against my chest, of that first moment holding him. He was such a tiny little bird, and I remember looking at him totally confused. Who is this little guy? So small, but so strong and healthy?

It was you, Gussy.

You have charmed your way into our hearts with your laughter and your chatter and your dancing sparkles in those big brown eyes. We sure love you!

ps. if you are on Instagram, you probably know that Jason and I tore out the carpets and replaced our bedroom with plywood planks... if not, stay tuned, I'll try and post something informative on it later this week!