I've been lying in a pool of self pity. Not feeling great, hips widening at lightening speed, heat, and no air conditiong... please join with me as I complain over just how bad I have it.

Thank you for that moment.

I had to look through my photo archives earlier today for something. It was my turning point, which I am oh-so-grateful for.

Admittingly, up until now, I have really been unkown about this "fourth kid" thing. Daddy Mock and I both come from families of five, it's what we know. To add another one in throws off my complete understanding for what is to come. I mean, the birth order, how does that work? My brothers are both so similar to my boys, my daughter, so similar to me at the age, it's been easy to know what's coming next.

But we messed with that. And now I don't know. And I don't like not knowing!

Buut, as I passed this photo, I was brought back to it. In the hormonal state that I am in, it even brought tears to my eyes.

These two are mine. These four are mine. These four.

And like that, I'm at peace.

I can do it.

They can do it.

I will love it.

They will love it.

And this baby is so very lucky to be welcomed by such amazing children.

I'm ready.

On a side note...Honey's hair!!! She's such a toe-head now and all that dark hair, where did it go? Those bright blue eyes, gone, and replaced with such a unique green/grey.

Boy this family sure does embrace change!

My mornings seem to be the only time where I am free of vomiting, so we do take advantage of that time. I have been SO sick with this pregnancy. It's really quite a bummer that my pregnancies seem to get harder and harder. But it is what it is, and I won't let it stop us from Summering.

Even if that means eating twelve servings of homemade potato salad (thank you, team, who made that happen!), six eggs, and two sandwiches to relinquish my empty stomach from the previous afternoon. It is a very odd diet to have between the hours of 7 and 12pm, but it works and it allows us to do this:

Poor Honey gets stretched to her limit always wanting to nap a wee bit earlier than the rest of us are ready. She's a trooper, though. She doesn't mind snuggling her blankie in her stroller watching the others play in the sand and water.

It's amazing the difference between morning and afternoon in this household, but I am sure grateful for some time to feel normal. I am also grateful for a Grammy who is feeding my family what they should be eating vs. a call in to Daddy Mock to pick up pizza yet again because I can't bear getting off the couch or opening the fridge. Pregnancy is not empowering, no.

Ooh, but the birth, now that is! I am really looking forward to yet another exciting birth! Is that strange? Perhaps, but I am excited to see how this special baby decides to enter the world.