I'm not sure how to explain it, other than the past month or so has been one filled with so much peace. I have struggled for the past few months spiritually, wondering where the intense intimacy that had once been very present had gone. I've prayed and even grieved a bit for that time last year when the Lord had asked me to do big things. Because in that time of stretching came such a closeness, a tunnel of immediate access from his heart to mine. I felt and heard him constantly. I understand it has something to do with seasons. And he's been reminding me that his word for our family this year is that of peace. I am finally coming around to understand that.

He's still there and I am learning to hear him in the quiet.

Last weekend, we were blessed with the ability to stay at a cabin as a trade. Of course, it is tucked up high in the mountains where there is no internet or distractions. It's a perfectly worn in place that allows you to relax without worrying of sweeping constantly or dirtying things up.

It was there where I was really able to understand the purpose of this year.

I was able to completely decompress. Sit in silence. Enjoy the voices of my children (most the time, mind you, I was alone with them for half the time and there were moments of annoyance!).

It snowed, it rained, it was freezing. Typically I would pack such a trip full of hikes and exploring but the weather didn't allow for that. We got out a few times, but mostly we were cozied up, wearing wool socks and the same exact outfit for multiple days. :)

As I was going through the photos I took, this image took my breath away. Not because of the scenery. Because of an older brother resting his chin on his little sister.

I'd like to think that I know my children well. However, when we are in the mountains, I feel like we are tied together on a different spiritual level. There is such a reverence that they can understand from these young ages for creation. I may help foster it, but I certainly didn't plant it in their souls. I am so grateful for the Lord putting such a passion in them. I see them light up, praise the Lord, and truly connect with him in these situations. It's become my favorite aspect of being outdoors with them, being able to experience these times as spiritual times rather than just times of recreation.

Once Jason was able to come and join us, we had a break in the rain for a few hours. He wanted to give me a little time to myself for a run around the lake. As he was telling me this, Carter overheard (typical!) and asked if he could join me. We've run together before and it has been some of my most treasured time with him. I asked if he was willing to run the 4+ miles of trail, which will be very difficult in the higher elevation. "Of course!", he exclaimed.

And that he did. He blew me away with his drive and determination. He wanted to lead the entire time, which I had to respect. What an apparent leader at this age. We had a wonderful time. I am so surprised that he was able to run the entire thing. I told him that he was really sure-footed, to which he replied, "I'm not sure what that means, but if you're talking about my stamina, thanks!". Oh my, he keeps me chuckling under my breath and consistently impressed.

We brought a little bit of school work. It's not so bad when big, white fluffy flakes are falling from the sky.

Lulu.

Everett had taken a fishing trip with Jason and returned to tell me he discovered some baby Dark-eyed Juncos. I didn't put much thought into it, but when we returned to the same spot the following day, I was in for a treat. He begged me to stop over at the spot of their nest. As he led me there, lifted up a pine branch and revealed to me these precious, newborn baby birds, I was taken back over his ability to find them. I asked them how he knew they were here. He told me he was observing a Dark-eyed Junco in the tree above. He was sitting still, watching her and listening to her call. She flew down to the ground and disappeared under a pine branch. He slowly approached the branch and heard baby bird sounds, he lifted it to find these sweet babies. It spoke straight to my heart as I am watching him learn to observe and listen. He will sit for a long duration of time bird-watching; with a set of binoculars and a field guide nearby. But to make such a discovery based on being still and quiet, spoke greatly to me. I can learn from him...especially in this time of peace.

If your children love the woods or reading of adventure, I highly suggest reading them, "My Side of the Mountain". The boys are completely enthralled with survival in the woods and this book spoke directly to them. Every hollowed out tree now has a different meaning to them, so it came as no surprise to see the little fort they had made from a nearby stump.

Upon our return of this sweet time, we came home to the end of a busy season of sports and activities. I am so excited to spend the summer with these children, doing what we love best. During the next few months, my hope is to take this time of peace to use as a time of great preparation for whatever the Lord calls us to next. One thing I know; He is so good, and all the difficult things he called me to last year have only made me a better mother, a better daughter to him, and have brought such large and fruitful volumes of peace into our home. He knows what he's doing, guys. I'm not sure why I have ever questioned him!

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I don not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jason and I knew from the start of our family that we wanted to live a very simple life, free of the busyness that comes with multiple appointments, sports, activities, etc. And here we are, sitting at our computers reviewing our schedules and the very few evenings we have free during the week.

While it seems the opposite of our family goals and rhythm, it also is a new chapter. The children are older and have different interests and we find ourselves having to heavily consider what an impact every one of their interests may have on our family.

Originally, we decided whatever we do, we would do together, however, baseball practice on a cold wintery night wasn't my favorite plan for family time. So some evenings we find ourselves dividing and conquering. I have to say, though, that it brings me so much joy to see the little ones look up to their siblings and see the older ones cheer on the younger ones.

It's not so bad.

Especially when that child feels like they have an entire family backing them up. Cheering them on.

We will always be assessing what our family can handle.
I would imagine there will be years where we will hold back and others where our plate is full.

But honestly, this wasn't something we were ready for. How quickly life can change when children are "of age" for sports and activities. It makes me really appreciate the younger years, when all our evening plans included were wrestle time and maybe a bath.

While our plate is full, it's full in the best of ways.

Having the children at home all day really frees me personally from feeling like evenings are overbooked. It's a welcome change to our daily pace, which is slow and steady. This is something that Jason and I will have to work through continuously, though, as he's the one out bringing the bacon home. :)

This whole homeschool-thing has really come to show us some of it's advantages. I've been pretty open on here about the fruit that has come from it, but I have to say, it really does help when sports come around. I am so grateful to be at this place right now.

The Lord has been doing such a work in me in how I respond to the children, in tone, stature, and word. Having them around all of the time has taught me so much about myself and how wrong I have been handling situations. It's grown me in so many ways.

So, now, in the evenings, when we are due to be somewhere at a specific time, I have the day to prepare myself and the children. We talk about time management and their role in helping us get there at an acceptable time.

They are part of the process and now responsible for us getting there.

It's been wonderful!

And nearly stress free.

So that's now.

Our days have been warm and summer-like.

Slow and steady.

I remember reading somewhere that for schooling, the months between Christmas break and Easter break were the most productive. I would have to agree.

I have been learning to give up the guilt that comes with allowing them to interrupt their day with an hour's worth of nest building or fort constructing, chalking that up to "schooling" in it's own form. :)

And more and more I learn that the pace of the day, the state of the attitudes, the spirit in the house, it really comes down to me. I'm the one who sets it, if I am in control of my emotions and if I am disciplined in my efforts, all the ducklings follow along in their row.

How beneficial this would have been years ago!

I guess that comes with growth. I would imagine I have read this and been told it many times, but not until you're at the right spot does it really resonate.

Isn't that the truth?!