The evening we found out the the baby in my womb was actually babies in my womb, well, it had it's ups and downs! I thought for sure these two were another little girl, and I have been spot on with the other three, so it came as a great surprise. I'm not good with surprises, therefore, my reaction was not one I am proud of. I didn't cry, which is good, but I did continue to say "OH MY GOSH, THERE ARE TWO, AND THEY ARE BOYS!" for about ten minutes why we watched these two wrestle around.
Driving home, I was convicted with my lack of joy. I was so overwhelmed and in shock, that it didn't quite occur to me that this had been my dream all along. It wasn't until we called my mom to share the news that she reminded me that I have prayed for twin boys since I was about five years old. It's true... multiple times a day. I just knew the Lord would give them to me, but after three pregnancies, and the loss of a twin with Scarlett, I figured he had different plans.
Never try to figure God out. He loves to spoil his children just like a parent finds great joy in fulfilling a child's wish. He must have a very happy heart looking down on our family and our attitude towards these two.
We arrived home, put the children to bed and discussed a long term plan on how to accommodate these two into our lives (we don't waste much time when a season of change embarks on us!). Jason went to bed, and like most men, within minutes was snoozing away. I, however, was not. My mind and heart were racing with so many unknowns. The physical reality of taking on a twin pregnancy was freaking me out, not to mention the idea of bringing up five under six years old.
With all of our children, we pretty much had names figured out before we even knew their sex. This was a different pregnancy. We went into the sonogram room unarmed and disconnected with our child(ren). So as I lay awake, I decided to put an identity to these boys, so that the bonding would take on a new level.
Near 3am, with a wide awake Mommy, pouring over names and their meanings, the names August Paul and Elias Jude were declared (in my mind, anyway).
The next day, we packed up for a day at the lake house with Jason's family...that is where we announced the news to the family. On the way there, I pulled out the post-it with the names and their meanings. I was reluctant to share as names have never been something Jason and I easily agree on! I was prepared to battle and fight for them as I really felt the Lord had given them to me. As I read them, he put his hand on my leg, smiled, and said "I love them". And like that, they had an identity and a place in our family.
August means "Majestic and Venerable". It's a German name, which was fitting as my step-dad is German, and it's a name Jason and I always toyed with each pregnancy. Paul is Jason's middle name, after his wonderful uncle, who we both respect a great deal. We decided baby "A" would receive this name as he would be the first born, and the family name is fitting for the first born.
Elias means "The Lord is my God". Jude was chosen because all of our children's middle names are Biblical. Jude means "Praise". Elias is also the Greek variation of Elijah, who has been a prominent Biblical character in our lives through this pregnancy.
God did not only provide me with my dreams, but he answered some petty little prayers as well. I begged him to have grace on my body, and I am shocked to see that there are no signs of a twin pregnancy thus far. I feel better nine days post-partum than I have in nine months. I am off of my pain killers and feel more connected with my children than I have in the past two months.
He is a good God. One of promise. One of joy.
These boys are a testament of his mercy and grace!